Created :
October 19, 2022
|Updated :
October 19, 2022
Written By :
Pranshu Kaushik

How to build your self-confidence?

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    Confidence (noun): Full trust, belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.

    We often treat confidence as that overpowering and magnetic quality in a person’s personality that makes them attractive (or irresistible). It is also one of those very few words in the English language that we associate more with a person we know than an abstract personality trait.

    Self-confidence is also that heavenly bliss when you find that undeniable sense of self-fulfillment in yourself. It usually covers all (or at least most) the tasks related to your routine life. But psychologists agree that it is impossible for a person to be equally confident at all times during the day. There may be things that could demand more self-assurance and determination than others.

    Let’s take an example of a chef. He could be good at cooking foods like Indian, Chinese, or Mexican but may not be at ease while preparing Russian or British. The same may also be said about a working professional who could be good at accounting and bookkeeping but may not be equally good at managing investment portfolios. Their self-assurance may take a hit in such circumstances.

    Self-confidence is contagious

    One may not be a hundred percent sure of oneself in certain circumstances, but that should also not make them tremble at first at the sight of trouble. Quite often, we lose our focus in trying circumstances. This usually happens when we step out of our comfort zone and try to do things that we have perhaps never done.

    A 2014 research conducted at the University of Southampton underscored three key findings about the power of confidence. They are:

    • An increased interpersonal influence due to social self-confidence,
    • The power to affect the decision power of peer groups,
    • Being perceived as a de facto or natural leader in a social group.

    These three perceptions or results also affect a person’s psyche throughout his life.Self-confidence is thus a personal trait or attribute that is mostly abstract in nature and is only best visible through a person in close contact or someone we see regularly. It is contagious in the sense that it encourages similar behavior in others. A confident person will naturally create more and better social bonds in a peer group compared to his less-confident counterparts.

    💡 Note: He may use that privilege to influence the thoughts and/or buying decisions of those near him. People would love to enact and mimic his behavior because it would help them aim for a higher grade of societal acceptance. It is just as true in routine life as in the workplace.

    A self-assured, confident person is like a demilitarised zone

    You can never have enough of this self-confidence thing- though you may become cocky and arrogant in temporary measures if you misfire. There is a fine line between extreme self-assurance and not behaving like an entitled snob.

    Most people realize their folly only after they have crossed it. Your mind will let you know when you should bail out. For one, you may understand that a person may prefer to stay quiet or alone. This may be different from someone who is a chatterbox and prefers to stay loud-mouthed.But on closer inspection, you might notice that the former may also have an aura of that silent night that no one else dares to intrude. It is a demilitarized zone in which no man dares to act funny, and whosoever does that often stays around to pay for it. A confident person’s calm silence is often compelling.

    Most people would take that silent but potent sign of physical presence. If you, too, would like to build on your self-esteem, here’s what you may do:

    1. Have a positive attitude. Follow it up with positive body language.
    2. If you are about to do something challenging, have a firm belief that you will do it properly. You must believe in yourself before others start believing in you.
    3. Think about your negative self-beliefs. They cause more damage to you than you think.
    4. Reconsider the way you talk to yourself. Your mind plays back the same audio you keep telling it through the years. *
    5. Learn to be assertive without being overbearing. Be sensitive to others’ opinions too.
    6. Learn to say “NO.” You cannot please everyone.
    7. Set yourself up for SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals. Take calculated risks. Remember, a smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.
    8. Recognize behavioral patterns of your childhood. Have you undergone trauma in your formative years, like being bullied by classmates? Are they affecting your self-belief now?
    9. Be kind to yourself, even if you flunk it. Learn from your mistakes and failures. Tell yourself that there is always a first time for everything.
    10. Do not focus on negative thoughts when you start doing something. They will only sap your energy and enthusiasm.
    11. Maintain a network of friends and family members who support you. Fall back on them if need be.
    12. Identify what you are good at and build up on it. This will help you develop a sense of pride in yourself.
    13. Accept compliments gracefully. The worst way to welcome someone is to turn down their sincere compliments. However, also watch out for the insincere or sarcastic ones.
    14. Control your emotions, especially in public.
    15. Understand that fear and failures are events. They do not define you. You may win if you do not give up on any worthy cause or goal.
    16. Do not compare with others. You have no idea what their journey is all about- or yours.
    17. Invest some time and money in self-care. Regular workouts are compulsory, so hit a gym. Learn how to play guitar or join a painting class. Stay regular with it.
    18. Dress upwards. Look sharp and neat.
    19. Embrace positive changes.
    20. Do your best and leave the rest to God.*If you keep telling yourself that you are deserving, your mind will play out the same thing back when you would need it. The converse is also true- if you keep feeding it with self-damaging thoughts, it will not let you gather any courage when you would need it the most.   ****

    Benefits of developing self-confidence

    Being self-confident is a gift you give to yourself. Self-assured persons are free from anxiety and stress and enjoy better sleep patterns. There are several other benefits that you may expect from developing an unshakable belief in yourself:

    1. Better work-related performance
    2. More fulfilled relationships
    3. Wanting to try out new things
    4. Self-reliance in trying times
    5. Freedom from social anxiety and phobia of public speaking
    6. Less stress and anxiety
    7. Higher motivation level
    8. Better success
    9. Better self-worth

    How may you boost your self-confidence if you are a working professional?

    We advise opting for our specially designed online courses that are specially crafted for working professionals like you. Since you could be short of time, we advise you to join our personalized classes. You may opt for our Art of Conversation course. It will help you learn the basic and advanced knowledge of presenting yourself positively.

    You may avail of them at a time and place of your choice. The best thing about our courses is that all our mentors are from prestigious institutes in India and other parts of the world. We welcome you to make an informed decision about building your self-confidence and enjoying your life on a positive note.

    Table of Contents
      Want to improve your Communication Skills?
      Get a Personal Coach and Speak Fluent English in less than 3 months. Start by taking a 60 minutes Private Counselling Session to know your current English level. (Counselling session costs Rs 499, but the fee is 100% refundable if you don't like the session - No Questions Asked)
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