A simple guide to non verbal communication - Gestures, expressions and body language

We are always communicating nonverbally - even when we're not speaking. - Deborah Bull (Member of the House of Lords - UK)

Did you know that you can communicate with people without even saying a word?

It's called nonverbal communication, and it's super powerful.

In fact, research shows that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal, i.e., without using words!

In this blog, I will share my insights into various aspects of nonverbal communication, especially the top 3 - gestures, expressions, and body language.

I will share my thoughts on how these tools can impact your communication and affect your relationships.

Furthermore, I’ll give you expert tips on how to improve your nonverbal communication skills.

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Content:

1. Understanding Nonverbal Communication
2. The Power of Gestures
3. Facial Expressions and Emotions
4. Body Language and Posture
5. The Impact of Nonverbal Communication in Different Settings
6. Improving Nonverbal Communication
7. Conclusion

I. Understanding Nonverbal Communication

What is Nonverbal Communication?

Nonverbal communication means speaking through your body language, facial expressions, and gestures.

Your body conveys your emotions, attitudes, and intentions without words. Shocking, isn’t it?

Though the nonverbal communication percentage varies depending on the context, it's an important part of human interactions, one you and I use instinctively.

Consider a smile - a sign of happiness or friendliness. Conversely, a frown conveys disapproval or sadness. Similarly, crossed arms signify resistance or defensiveness, while nodding your head can show agreement or approval.

Why Nonverbal Communication Skills Are Important?

Verbal vs. nonverbal communication can have different effects on how messages are received and understood.

Your nonverbal communication is important because it tells your thoughts, feelings, and intentions that we might not pick up on with words alone.

Let me give you a few reasons why it's so important:

1. Expressing emotions: Body language and facial expressions show a whole range of emotions like happiness, sadness, or anger, - displaying how you are feeling even when you would say otherwise.
2. Conveying information: Nonverbal cues like how you dress or conduct yourself tell about your status, identity, or intentions.
3. Supplements verbal communication: Nonverbal cues add meaning to your words and make them more powerful. For example, a smile or a nod can show agreement or understanding.
4. Building Rapport: Your nonverbal cues help in better understanding and connection with others. This can help us build trust and rapport in all kinds of interactions.

Understanding these functions of nonverbal communication helps connect with people and gauge what they're really thinking and feeling.

"Actions speak louder than words." - Abraham Lincoln.

Different Types of Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication kinesics is a term used to describe the study of body movements and gestures that are used to convey messages, emotions, and intentions without using spoken or written language.

It includes the analysis of the different types of nonverbal communication that can provide insights into a person's thoughts, feelings, and attitudes.

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Here are the different types:

1. Facial expressions: Your movements and changes in your face convey emotions, attitudes, and thoughts. Examples include smiling, frowning, raising eyebrows, and squinting.
2. Gestures: These are movements of the hands, arms, or body that are used to communicate or emphasize meaning. Examples include waving, pointing, crossing arms, and shrugging.
3. Eye contact: This is the act of looking directly into someone's eyes, which can convey different emotions or intentions, such as confidence, interest, or aggression.
4. Posture and body language: This includes the way you sit, stand, and move your body. Examples include slouching, standing upright, and walking with confidence.
5. Your tone of voice: The way you speak, including pitch, volume, and intonation, can convey different emotions or attitudes, such as sarcasm, excitement, or anger. (Check out our guide to vocal variety).
6. Your proximity: The physical distance between you and the person you're communicating with can communicate different messages. Standing close can indicate intimacy or aggression while standing further away can indicate respect or discomfort.
7. Your touch: Physical contact between you and the person you're communicating with, such as a handshake, hug, or pat on the back, can communicate a range of emotions or intentions, such as affection, support, or aggression. This is also called Haptic Communication.
8. Your appearance: Your physical appearance, clothing, and grooming can communicate different messages about your personality, social status, or personal style.
9. Your artifacts (objects and images): The items or images you display or carry with you, such as jewelry, tattoos, or pictures, can communicate personal values, beliefs, or affiliations.

Nonverbal cues add depth and richness to communication and can provide important information about a person's thoughts, feelings, and intentions.

By being mindful of these characteristics of nonverbal communication cues, you will improve your ability to connect with others.

II. The Power of Gestures

If you want to communicate effectively, you have to use words and gestures. - Jason Statham

Gestures play a huge role in nonverbal communication and can really impact how your message comes across. They can complement or contradict what you say and show your emotions without saying a word.

Here's why gestures are so important: they can convey emotions and messages that may not come across through spoken words. They can be used to emphasize what you're saying, express how you're feeling, and build connections with others.

In some cultures, gestures are even more important, particularly when language barriers make verbal communication difficult.

Overall, communicating with gestures makes you a much more effective communicator.

Different Types of Gestures and Their Meanings:

There are many different types of gestures, and their meanings can vary depending on the context and culture. Here are some examples:

1. Emblems: Gestures with specific meanings. For e.g., the "thumbs-up" gesture means approval or the "V" sign indicates victory.
2. Illustrators: Gestures that accompany speech. They help to emphasize or illustrate a point, such as pointing to an object while describing it.
3. Regulators: Gestures that regulate the flow of communication, such as nodding to show agreement or shaking the head to indicate disagreement.

Tips To Improve Your Use of Gestures:

• Be aware of your gestures: Take note of the gestures you use when you're communicating with others. Are they consistent with the message you're trying to convey? If not, try to adjust your gestures to better align with your message.
• Keep your gestures natural: Avoid over-exaggerating or overuse of your gestures. Instead, let your gestures flow naturally. Use them to enhance your message rather than distract from it.
• Use gestures purposefully: Make sure your gestures are purposeful and intentional. Use them to emphasize key points or convey meaning that words alone cannot express.
• Be mindful of cultural differences: Different cultures may have different norms and expectations when it comes to gestures.

💡 In a study of TED Talks, researchers found that the most successful speakers used an average of 465 hand gestures during their talks, while the least successful speakers used an average of 272 hand gestures.

III. Your facial expressions speak

The face tells a story, and it is a story that has never been told before.
- Lucy Grealy

Facial expressions allow individuals to convey their emotions, intentions, attitudes, and reactions without using words.

They are powerful as they have a great influence over the outcome of a conversation.

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Different types of Facial Expressions and Emotions and their meanings:

Here are some of the most common facial expressions and their meanings:

1. Smiling: A smile can indicate friendliness, warmth, and openness. It can help to establish rapport and build positive relationships with coworkers and clients.
2. Frowning: Frowning can indicate displeasure, dissatisfaction, or frustration. It can be a sign that someone is not happy with a situation or that they are experiencing some kind of difficulty or challenge.
3. Eye Contact: Maintaining good eye contact can indicate interest, attention, and engagement. It can also be a sign of confidence and credibility. The importance of eye contact lies in the fact that it can convey a range of messages, including interest, attention, respect, and trust.
4. Raised Eyebrows: Raising your eyebrows can indicate surprise, interest, or curiosity. It can be a sign that you are engaged in a conversation and that you are open to new ideas.
5. Nodding: Nodding your head can indicate agreement, understanding, or approval. It can be a way of showing that you are actively listening to someone and that you value their input.
6. Crossed Arms: Crossing your arms can indicate defensiveness, resistance, or disagreement. It can be a sign that you are not open to new ideas or that you are feeling threatened or challenged.
7. Raised Chin: Raising your chin can indicate confidence, assertiveness, and authority. It can be a way of showing that you are in control and that you have a strong presence.

Improving Facial Expressions:

• Practice using different facial expressions: Your facial expressions can convey a wide range of emotions, from happiness to sadness, anger, or confusion. Practice using different facial expressions to convey different emotions and messages.
• Maintain eye contact: When communicating with others, maintaining eye contact can help convey confidence and establish a connection. Use your facial expressions to show that you're engaged and interested in the conversation.
• Avoid distracting facial expressions: Certain facial expressions can be distracting and detract from your message. For example, rolling your eyes, smirking, or grimacing can be perceived as disrespectful or dismissive.

IV. Your Body Language is very important

Postures are critical in nonverbal communication. They convey a wealth of information about a person's thoughts, feelings, and intentions.

Importance of body language and posture

• Body language conveys a person’s level of confidence, interest, and emotion. For example, crossing your arms can signal defensiveness or disinterest, while maintaining eye contact and an open posture can convey confidence and engagement.
• Good body language enhances communication by reinforcing and emphasizing the spoken message.
• Body language and posture can also help build relationships by signaling openness and trustworthiness.
• Good body language also influences how others perceive your level of competence and professionalism. For e.g., Standing tall with your shoulders back and your head held high conveys confidence and competence, while slouching or looking down can suggest insecurity or lack of confidence.

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Different types of postures and their meanings:

1. Upright posture: Standing or sitting with a straight back, shoulders back, and head up. This standing body language **communicates confidence, attentiveness, and openness.
2. Slouching posture: When a person sits or stands with rounded shoulders, a curved spine, and a drooping head. This posture displays boredom, disinterest, or lack of energy. It can also mean a lack of confidence or self-esteem.
3. Leaning forward posture: When a person sits or stands with their body leaning forward towards the other person. This posture suggests high interest. It conveys that the person is listening attentively and is interested in what the other person is saying.
4. Leaning backward posture: When a person sits or stands with their body leaning backward away from the other person. This posture can suggest defensiveness or a lack of interest. It can also convey a sense of superiority or dominance.
5. Crossed arms posture: Crossed arms posture refers to a person who is standing or sitting with their arms crossed over their chest. This posture suggests defensiveness, skepticism, or disagreement. Alternatively, it can also indicate comfort or a need for warmth.
6. Open arms posture: Open arms posture refers to a person who is standing or sitting with their arms open and at their sides. This posture suggests openness, friendliness, and approachability. It conveys a sense of comfort and ease in the conversation.

Improving Body Language & Postures:

• Maintain an open and relaxed posture: When communicating with others, maintain an open and relaxed posture to convey confidence and approachability. Avoid crossing your arms or legs, as this can convey defensiveness or disinterest.
• Adjust your posture to convey different messages: Your posture can convey different messages depending on the situation. For example, standing up straight with your shoulders back can convey confidence and authority, while leaning forward can convey interest and engagement.
• Be mindful of your surroundings: When adjusting your posture, be mindful of your surroundings and the context of the situation. For example, in a formal setting such as a job interview or business meeting, maintaining an upright posture can convey professionalism and confidence.

💡 In the 1960s, Albert Mehrabian published 2 pioneering studies that developed the 7-38-55% rule of communication. According to this rule, 7 percent of meaning in a communication is conveyed through spoken word, 38 percent through tone of voice, and 55 percent through body language.

V. The Impact of Nonverbal Communication in Different Settings

In Personal Settings: 👥

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Here are some ways in which nonverbal communication can affect us in personal settings:

1. Building Trust and Intimacy: For example, making eye contact, using a warm tone of voice, and displaying open body language can create a sense of intimacy and closeness with family members.
2. Resolving Conflicts: By clearing misunderstandings, conveying empathy and understanding, and displaying active engagement in the conversation.
3. Expressing Emotions: Nonverbal communication communicates empathy, love, concern, or support, which can help individuals feel understood and valued.
4. Establishing Boundaries: For example, standing or sitting at a distance from someone can indicate a desire for personal space, while crossing arms can indicate defensiveness or discomfort.

In Professional Settings: 🏢

There are also specific ways in which nonverbal communication can impact communication in professional settings.

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1. Presenting Confidence and Competence: A strong handshake, maintaining eye contact, and standing with good posture can all convey confidence and competence to colleagues, clients, and superiors.
2. Establishing Authority: For example, using firm and direct body language, maintaining a clear tone of voice, and avoiding fidgeting or nervous gestures can all convey a sense of authority and professionalism.
3. Building Rapport and Trust: Active listening, using open body language, and displaying empathy through facial expressions and gestures can help build rapport and establish a sense of trust with others.
4. Conveying Professionalism: Dressing appropriately for the occasion, using appropriate facial expressions and gestures, and maintaining a professional demeanor can all contribute to a positive professional image.
5. Nonverbal Cues in Business Negotiations: In business negotiations, a lot can be conveyed through body language and facial expressions. For example, mirroring the body language of the other party, maintaining eye contact, and using appropriate facial expressions can all help establish a positive negotiation environment.

In Social Settings: 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

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Here are some specific ways in which nonverbal communication can impact communication in social settings:

1. Conveying Interest and Engagement: In social settings, nonverbal cues such as maintaining eye contact, using open body language, and nodding or using other appropriate facial expressions can convey interest and engagement in the conversation, which can help build stronger social connections.
2. Displaying Empathy and Understanding: Nonverbal cues such as using appropriate facial expressions and gestures and displaying active listening can convey empathy and understanding towards others in social settings. This can help build stronger social connections and foster a sense of trust and support among individuals.
3. Navigating Group Dynamics: Nonverbal communication is important when navigating group dynamics in social settings. Appropriate use of body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can help individuals assert themselves and participate effectively in group conversations, and avoid misunderstandings or conflicts.
4. Establishing Social Hierarchy: Nonverbal cues can also be used to establish a social hierarchy in social settings. For example, using appropriate body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can convey respect or deference to individuals in positions of authority or seniority.
5. Nonverbal Cues in Social Gatherings: Appropriate use of body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can help individuals establish connections with new people and navigate complex social dynamics at parties.
6. Nonverbal Cues in Romantic Relationships: Nonverbal cues are especially important in romantic relationships, where they can convey attraction, intimacy, and affection. Maintaining appropriate physical touch, using appropriate facial expressions and gestures, and maintaining eye contact can all contribute to building a strong romantic relationship.

VI. Interpreting Nonverbal Cues

Interpreting nonverbal cues accurately can be challenging, as people can have different interpretations of the same posture.

However, here are some tips to help interpret them accurately:

1. Consider the context: Remember that the same behavior can have different meanings depending on the situation. For example, someone crossing their arms might be cold, uncomfortable, or disagreeing with what's being said. Consider the context to understand the meaning of the behavior.
2. Look for clusters of behaviors: To accurately interpret a posture, look for clusters of behaviors. This means observing a person's facial expressions, hand gestures, and other nonverbal cues. A person with crossed arms might also be frowning or avoiding eye contact, suggesting that they are feeling defensive.
3. Observe the whole face: Facial expressions involve the whole face, not just the mouth or eyes. Pay attention to subtle changes in facial muscles to accurately interpret the emotion being conveyed.
4. Consider cultural differences: Nonverbal communication in different cultures have different norms and expectations. Avoid making assumptions based on your own cultural background and be aware of cultural differences.
5. Avoid jumping to conclusions: It's important to avoid jumping to conclusions when interpreting postures. Instead, be curious, open-minded, and inquire to understand the meaning of nonverbal communication.
6. Consider personality and individual differences: Finally, remember that people have individual differences and unique personalities. Some people have more expressive body language than others, and some might be uncomfortable with direct eye contact. Be mindful of individual differences, and don't make assumptions based on stereotypes.

VII. Conclusion

In conclusion, nonverbal communication is important. From the subtlest facial expressions to the most obvious gestures, nonverbal communication can significantly impact how we interact with others.

By paying attention to our own nonverbal cues and developing the ability to interpret those of others, we can become better communicators and build stronger relationships.

Effective nonverbal communication can also bring numerous benefits, such as building trust, improving rapport, and strengthening connections.

It is a skill that can be learned and practiced, and by doing so, we can greatly enhance our overall communication skills.

Whether in personal or professional settings, being able to convey our emotions and intentions effectively can significantly impact the success of our interactions.

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Our 1:1 live sessions with a personal mentor are designed to help you improve your verbal and nonverbal communication skills in a supportive, personalized environment. You'll discover proven techniques to gain your confidence to communicate effectively in any situation.

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"Your body language speaks louder than your words." - Harvey Mackay (New York Times Best Selling Author)

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